please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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