I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
