I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
