I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
