Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
