Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
