No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
