you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
