dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
