you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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