HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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