what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
