Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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