Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
