So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
