remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
