I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
