no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
