I'm really into asian looking animals
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
