Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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