Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
