Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
