Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
