new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
