There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
17 year olds will be the death of me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
