Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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