My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You were trust falling into bushes
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
