just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
