I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
