You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
