just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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