God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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