Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
