k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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