is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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