you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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