Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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