I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
