That's when you crack a 10am beer
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I AM VODKA MAN
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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