I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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