I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
