Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
