K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I need to stop coming to work sober
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
