so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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