I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
