i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
