Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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