Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
