Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
