Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
