no, he came in my armpit
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
